Thoughts and Fears

We knew what we would name a boy if we were to have one when I first found out I was pregnant.
Our Pastor was on death's door and we knew we would get the call any day that he had gone home to be with the Lord. When I found out I was expecting, it was just 3 days before this occurred. We knew that the middle name of a little boy would be "Hank", after the Pastor that we loved so dearly and that we will forever miss. The name Hank means, "God is gracious."
As for the first name, it will be after my number one hero in the world, my dad, Joseph. (Known to everyone else as Joe :)
The name Joseph means, "God will increase, or enlarge." I hope that the Lord increases what we put into our son. Having a boy to me is very scary. So many boys have such a strong desire to be their own man and see the world for themselves that they end up like the prodigal son, wallowing with the swine and trying to convince those around them that the husks are delicious. I know that girls go wayward too, but I've seen more guys than girls end up in the world.
Our son will be named after 2 godly men of God and I hope that he takes after them. I hope that God is gracious to him and enlarges all the "good' that he does--if that makes sense. I hope he is a preacher or a missionary like the men he will be named after. I hope he has a strong drive to do what is right and to follow in the ways of the Lord. I hope this for my daughter, too, but we all know that it's different with men. They need to be the leaders, the ones who take charge and take a stand in the wicked world we live. I hope that my little Joey will do just that. I hope that our Pastor will look down from Heaven and be proud of the godly man he becomes. I hope that my daddy will admire his grandson for what the Lord does through him. I hope that he uses their examples to help guide him through life. Mostly I hope that Jesus Christ will become his Lord and Saviour and the one who he lives, breathes and dies for.
And if he does choose to chase after the Devils mirage for a little while, I hope that he will return the Lord and say, "My Mom's prayer is what got me through."
So many thoughts and fears run through my head when I think of raising children, but even more so with raising a son. It is a very special responsibility that I don't feel worthy to have been given, but I thank the Lord that he chose to give me such a precious opportunity.
May the Lord find us faithful to produce another solider in his army who will fight tirelessly until his dying day, no matter what the cost.