The Perfect Fried Egg (Father's Day, 2015)

I originally posted this in 2011, but since all of my thoughts ring true today I wanted to repost it now. Truth be told, my egg frying skills have improved a little over the past few years, but he's still the master. ;)

Dad,

 Almost every time I fry an egg I think of you. I think of the most amazing breakfast's you make us--the potatoes with just the right amount of grease and crispiness, the bacon cooked to perfection, toast lathered with butter and of course the ever perfect fried egg. To this day I can't cook them right. I flip them too early or too late and when I do, they fold into a weird shape and the yolk runs out into the pan. As I dump the blob of what used to be an egg onto my plate I wonder if I'll ever be able to cook them like you do.

 There are a lot of other things I wonder if I'll ever be able to do like you. I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at anything and put a spiritual application into it. I wonder if I'll ever have the boldness to declare the name of Jesus Christ like you do.  I wonder if I'll have the walk with God like you do, and the heart to help people like you do. 

 I wonder if you know what an impact the missions trips, special meetings all over the country, the street preaching, door knocking, prayer meetings, devotions and family rap sessions had on my life. I wonder if you know how much I loved our heart-to-heart talks, hung on every word, and even when I disagreed,  look back now and think, "he was right."

 I wonder if you know how much I appreciate and admire the love and passion you have for my Mom, even after 27 years of marriage. I wonder if you remember the best birthday of my life--when I turned 17. You woke me up at 5 in the morning after driving an hour in the snow to come back from the men's meeting and take me out to breakfast. For the next few hours we talked and laughed and I thought, "I can't believe he came back for my birthday". 

 Just 3 years later, I took your arm, the doors opened and the crowd stood as the bridal march was played. It was all a blur but I remember thinking, "this is the day I've dreamed of. My daddy is walking me down the aisle....these are my last moments with him." You gave me away to the new man in my life. My new authority, the one who would take care of me now. I wonder how hard that was for you but I know you were  content knowing it was God's will.

 Now we live thousands of miles apart but our hearts are more bonded than ever, cherishing the emails, phone calls and visits. And I know that this sounds cliche', but no matter how far apart we are, you're always so close to my heart.
 Today, I watched as my little girl sat and waited while her daddy cooked her a fried egg sandwich. She ate it with abandon, the same way I would eat your eggs. Maybe someday she'll write a love letter to him, remembering the eggs, the talks, the trips. I can only pray they have the same relationship that we have.
 I love you, dad. I wish I could be with you on this Father's Day, just like I wish I could be with you on every Father's Day. But for now this will have to do.

 Always your little girl,

 Jen

Parents + Mothers Day

Last week we had a very big surprise planned for the kids, and boy were they surprised! The doorbell rang, the dog barked, the kids ran to the door and opened it to find Nonnie and Poppy standing there! It was such a great moment and perfect surprise. Just the two of them came on their 31st wedding anniversary and it was truly a perfect week. I only wish it could have been 3 weeks! ;) We relaxed and played and ate and loved every moment!

Them being here last week meant I got to spend Mother's Day with my Mom, a dream come true. She is my inspiration, the one I call with all motherhood questions and concerns, my role model and my hero. To get to spend time with her and spoil her was such a joy! We enjoyed an amazing 3 course meal downtown that was a true culinary treat. Pat's girlfriend, Allison showed us the ropes and we got the royal treatment and it was so much fun! We tried oysters, bone marrow and ceviche along with several other amazing dishes.

Spending a whole week with my parents and getting them all to ourselves was such a treat that I hope happens again very soon. ;)

The Perfect Fried Egg

Dad,

 Almost every time I fry an egg I think of you. I think of the most amazing breakfast's you make us--the potatoes with just the right amount of grease and crispiness, the bacon cooked to perfection, toast lathered with butter and of course the ever perfect fried egg. To this day I can't cook them right. I flip them too early or too late and when I do, they fold into a weird shape and the yolk runs out into the pan. As I dump the blob of what used to be an egg onto my plate I wonder if I'll ever be able to cook them like you do.

 There are a lot of other things I wonder if I'll ever be able to do like you. I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at anything and put a spiritual application into it. I wonder if I'll ever have the boldness to declare the name of Jesus Christ like you do.  I wonder if I'll have the walk with God like you do, and the heart to help people like you do. 

 I wonder if you know what an impact the missions trips, special meetings all over the country, the street preaching, door knocking, prayer meetings, devotions and family rap sessions had on my life. I wonder if you know how much I loved our heart-to-heart talks, hung on every word, and even when I disagreed,  look back now and think, "he was right."

 I wonder if you know how much I appreciate and admire the love and passion you have for my Mom, even after 27 years of marriage. I wonder if you remember the best birthday of my life--when I turned 17. You woke me up at 5 in the morning after driving an hour in the snow to come back from the men's meeting and take me out to breakfast. For the next few hours we talked and laughed and I thought, "I can't believe he came back for my birthday". 

 Just 3 years later, I took your arm, the doors opened and the crowd stood as the bridal march was played. It was all a blur but I remember thinking, "this is the day I've dreamed of. My daddy is walking me down the aisle....these are my last moments with him." You gave me away to the new man in my life. My new authority, the one who would take care of me now. I wonder how hard that was for you but I know you were  content knowing it was God's will.

 Now we live thousands of miles apart but our hearts are more bonded than ever, cherishing the emails, phone calls and visits. And I know that this sounds cliche', but no matter how far apart we are, you're always so close to my heart.
 Today, I watched as my little girl sat and waited while her daddy cooked her a fried egg sandwich. She ate it with abandon, the same way I would eat your eggs. Maybe someday she'll write a love letter to him, remembering the eggs, the talks, the trips. I can only pray they have the same relationship that we have.
 I love you, dad. I wish I could be with you on this Father's Day, just like I wish I could be with you on every Father's Day. But for now this will have to do.

 Always your little girl,

 Jen

To Mom

Happy Mother's Day to the wonderful woman who birthed me into this world! You fed, changed, bathed, clothed, rocked, taught me how to eat macaroni, helped me learn to walk and go potty in the big girl toilet. You taught me to read, write, add, subtract, multiply and divide. You gave your best efforts to teach me that a plus b equals c even though I cried every day those first few weeks of Algebra. By example, you taught me how a wife and mother should keep her house, treat her husband, nourish her children, hold her tongue and love her Jesus. You were there when I became a Mom and at my side those first few weeks when I had no idea what I was doing with a newborn. The day I had Brookie, my love and appreciation for you grew more as we now had a special bond--we were both Mommies. I can call you anytime and you always ease my fears--whether one of the kids is sick, has a weird rash, is getting up at night, or being just plain bad, you always have the right thing to say. Not surprisingly, you are always right! You have wisdom beyond any woman I have ever known and I don't know what I would do without your quiet and gentle support in my life. I've said it before but I'll say it again: You are my hero, Mom. I love you more than you know. I rise up and call you blessed and wish you the happiest Mother's Day today!

Even A Vapor...

On Monday, I got a call from my Mom telling me that a cousin of ours who was only 19 had died suddenly. Her husband (also 19) came home on Saturday evening at 11pm to find that she had passed away in bed. The cause was a seizure. The news was devastating. While I didn't know her well, she was family. She was married this past year and I remember seeing her wedding pictures. So young. So beautiful. So happy.

On Tuesday morning I woke up to hear news that my old Pastor's brother had died suddenly from a heart attack. Again, another person I didn't know well, but a friend of the family and only in his 50's. He left a wife, 2 daughters and sons-in-law and grandchildren. He was a faithful member in his church and lived for the Lord.

Within an hour of that news, I got more bad news. A very close friend of our family, husband and father of 8 had been hit by a car. He had stopped on his way to work to help someone who had slid into the ditch and while he was out of the car, another car spun out of control and hit him. The weather conditions were treacherous and he lay there, unconscious, in the snow. At first the news was grim but not life threatening. He would be in ICU for 2 weeks, but the Dr's were calm.
 And then a turn for the worse. Internal bleeding was discovered and he was rushed in for emergency surgery. 24 hours after being hit, he was ushered into Heaven. He was one of the best guys I've ever known. Always funny, smiling, singing and soul winning. He was a great testimony to all who knew him--a hero. He left a wife, 6 boys and 2 little girls who absolutely adored him--and many, many friends who looked up to him and loved him.

 Needless to say these have been some of the most sober days of my life. Are poopy diapers, runny noses, whining and little disagreements really that big of a deal? What if that was the last time I changed a diaper or wiped a nose or kissed my husband? What if the words I just spoke were my last? Would I want them to be my last?

 Laura's young husband didn't know when he left for work that he would never speak to his beautiful wife again. Larry's wife didn't know that when they turned off the light to go to sleep her husband would never wake up. Ken's wife didn't know when she looked into the eyes of her husband that morning that she would never see them again.

 Would we live life differently if we knew the day the Lord would call us home? Perspective is everything. The things that are a big deal to us wouldn't be if we knew they would be some of our last. The Bible tells us that our life is a "vapor...that appeareth for a little time and then vansisheth away." That little bit of steam coming off your coffee this morning? That's you LIFE. That's IT. A tiny little vapor. Here today, gone tomorrow. What are you--what am I--doing to make it count?

 Go squeeze your children tight. Kiss your husband when he walks in the door. Hug your friends.

And most importantly, go make your little vapor matter.

Thoughts and Fears

We knew what we would name a boy if we were to have one when I first found out I was pregnant.
Our Pastor was on death's door and we knew we would get the call any day that he had gone home to be with the Lord. When I found out I was expecting, it was just 3 days before this occurred. We knew that the middle name of a little boy would be "Hank", after the Pastor that we loved so dearly and that we will forever miss. The name Hank means, "God is gracious."
As for the first name, it will be after my number one hero in the world, my dad, Joseph. (Known to everyone else as Joe :)
The name Joseph means, "God will increase, or enlarge." I hope that the Lord increases what we put into our son. Having a boy to me is very scary. So many boys have such a strong desire to be their own man and see the world for themselves that they end up like the prodigal son, wallowing with the swine and trying to convince those around them that the husks are delicious. I know that girls go wayward too, but I've seen more guys than girls end up in the world.
Our son will be named after 2 godly men of God and I hope that he takes after them. I hope that God is gracious to him and enlarges all the "good' that he does--if that makes sense. I hope he is a preacher or a missionary like the men he will be named after. I hope he has a strong drive to do what is right and to follow in the ways of the Lord. I hope this for my daughter, too, but we all know that it's different with men. They need to be the leaders, the ones who take charge and take a stand in the wicked world we live. I hope that my little Joey will do just that. I hope that our Pastor will look down from Heaven and be proud of the godly man he becomes. I hope that my daddy will admire his grandson for what the Lord does through him. I hope that he uses their examples to help guide him through life. Mostly I hope that Jesus Christ will become his Lord and Saviour and the one who he lives, breathes and dies for.
And if he does choose to chase after the Devils mirage for a little while, I hope that he will return the Lord and say, "My Mom's prayer is what got me through."
So many thoughts and fears run through my head when I think of raising children, but even more so with raising a son. It is a very special responsibility that I don't feel worthy to have been given, but I thank the Lord that he chose to give me such a precious opportunity.
May the Lord find us faithful to produce another solider in his army who will fight tirelessly until his dying day, no matter what the cost.

Anniversary!!!

Today is my wonderful parents 25th wedding anniversary! Before they were married they were together for about 10 years, totalling about 35 years! That is something to be so proud of in this day and age where people can hardly stay together for 35 months. Nate and I are so thankful for the great example they have been of a loving, giving, unselfish marriage that they've shown us. My parents have never been afraid to kiss, flirt, laugh and compliment each other in front of us. They have been careful to keep arguments behind closed doors. I'm so blessed for the wonderful parents God has placed in my life! I love you both so much!

A couple pictures from the past few years....

We were on vacation and everyone got sick! It was horrible! This is a funny picture to us because it brings back so many memories of staying in such a gorgeous vacation home and everyone puking their guts out. :)

On the beautiful ocean on vacation in Florida

Both of these pictures are bitter-sweet. Giving up their daughters! My parents were so good about this, despite it probably being the hardest thing they've ever done--to send their daughters up to 2000 miles away from home.

What a Combo!

A cool dad who rides a bike, loves God and isn't ashamed to tell ANYONE about it! What a Man!

This one (below) I LOVE!

He looks like a Police!

Please Take the Time to Read This

Those who follow this blog know that our Pastor passed away a few weeks ago. You also know that 2 of his sons are in prison--one for 14 year and the other for 24-for spanking a child with a small switch. Each month they write a prayer letter to send out to the churches. This is Caleb's for this month. Please take the time to read it and think of what really matters in life.

Caleb D. Thompson
February / March 2009

I just got off the phone with Dad. It was probably the last time I will ever speak to him or hear his voice. The finality of that thought is earth-shattering.
He was always so full of life, so energetic, and I always thought that he’d be around to preach my funeral. I thought that trying to keep up with him would be the death of me.
Now I am struggling to hear his weak voice and to understand his broken thoughts. A mysterious and indiscriminate illness has felled this giant of a man. His love of life, his laughter, his enthusiasm and zest have been replaced with quiet resignation.
His waking moments are spent with mom by his side as he guides her through the decisions that his passing will necessitate. Mom received the chaplain’s call in the hospital parking lot and ran through the halls into the ICU where Dad was lying.
“Hi, Son,” he whispers. “I’m not gonna make it.”
We both begin to cry. My world, which has been in erratic orbit, has ceased to turn. Its guiding light is fast sinking in the western sky, bowing its head one last time before giving way to the long, dark, cold night of sorrow.
“You’ve been my best friend.” Each word saps his body of strength and leaves him struggling to speak another. “You always were special.” I listen intently, trying to etch every word on the tablets of my heart.
“I signed your ordination and your degree.” I sob with gratitude and tell him that I’ll always cherish them. “Adam’s gonna take the church. Everyone is glad. They’ve all done so well through the difficulties.”
He is silent for a moment as he gathers strength to talk again.
“Only a few families left us, and they still come around once in a while. They even call to check on me.”
I try to turn the conversation toward him, but he wants to talk about others. Typical Dad. Always the good shepherd. He begins to name people, wandering sheep, taking responsibility upon himself for failing them. I cry. Even in death his thoughts are upon the flock. He grows silent again, then whispers,
“You talk, Son, I want to hear your voice.”
“I love you with all my heart, and I’m so grateful to be your son. It’s been good. You’ve always believed in me, always been my biggest supporter, and knowing that has kept me going during the darkest nights. We made a lot of great memories, had so many wonderful times, and in them all, you always put Jesus first. We’ve been through some tough times, and you’ve trusted the Lord, no matter how bewildering. You’re incredible. I love you so much and although I’m not ready to say goodbye, I don’t want you to hang on any longer for me. Go in peace. I’m just envious that you will see Jesus so soon.”
I’ve cleaned out the chaplain’s Kleenex box.
“Dad, will you say a blessing over me?” I ask. “I don’t know if I’ve ever done that,” he whispers, “but I’ll try.” “The Lord bless thee and keep thee,” he begins. “The Lord make His face to shine upon thee. May He give you humility.”
He labors for breath. “Stay humble Son, stay humble. May the Lord make you great. May He keep you holy and keep you from sin. May He always be first in your life. Lord, help him. Bless him.” He struggles with every word. “May the Lord be your strength always. Son, I’m so proud of you. You’ve always been special from the very first. Your hands were so big when you were little and you gripped my finger so hard. You sure grew tall. Made me look small.”
He is silent for a minute. Dad talks about me walking around in his boots when I was little. “Dad, I’m still trying to fill those boots.” The chaplain pulls out more Kleenex to wipe his own eyes. “I can’t think of a single bad memory of you,” he says, “I sure did enjoy the years you worked with me at the church, talking everything through, praying together, putting together sermons, traveling to preach, I just enjoy you.”
“Dad, I enjoyed working with you. Thank you for the privilege. I only wish I’d have talked less and listened more. I’d give anything to go back to college and sit through your classes again.” Dad speaks again, “I regret not being part of your wedding.”
Mom whispers something, and Dad says, “but we were just glad to be there. I’m so proud of you. Thanks for writing the book. It’s really good. I’ve been sending it out and calling preachers to push it. It’s helping people.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad, that I can’t be there for you. I always thought we’d come home and life would go on, that nothing would change. I’m so sorry!”
“It’s been a nightmare,” he whispers, laboring for breath. “I’m sorry it happened. I still can’t believe it. I wish you were with me.”
He cries. “I’m sorry if I ever failed you.” “No, Dad, far from that. You’ve been the greatest.” “Things sure have changed,” he says. “It won’t be the same again.”
Silence.
Then, “Son, I’ve lived my life upon the Scriptures. I’ve slept on them. I’ve fed on them I’ve given my whole life to the Scriptures; they’ve never failed me. They’ve kept me and led me. They’ve been my life. Don’t ever forsake them, Son. I’m gonna ask them to let me go. I’m tired.” His words are faint. I can hardly understand him. I cannot stop the tears. If only I could hug him.
“I don’t know how to say good-bye, Dad. I will miss you every day of my life. I wish I could tell you what you mean to me.” “You have, Son. You have, better than you know.” “Dad, I’ll be looking for you when I reach the other shore. Oh Dad, I don’t even want to think about facing a day without you in my life. I’ll miss you so much.”
“I’ll always be with you, Son.” He whispers. “Always in my thoughts,” I reply. “And I promise you that your heart will live on in my breast. You’re the greatest man I’ll ever know. Thank you for all you’ve taught me. Thank you for all the good times.”
He echoes, “Good times, Son. Good times.” His voice is weak. “You should write a book, about the good times!” He speaks again, but I cannot understand him. If only, Lord. If only. The chaplain tells me to say good-bye. I don’t know how.
“Dad, I have to go. I love you more than I can say. I love you forever.”
“Forever and ever,” he says.
“Do you want one of my Bibles?” he asks.
“Yes, sir, your hats, boots, and belts too.”
“I’ll always love you, Son.”
He hands the phone to Mom. “Mom, please call again on Wednesday or Thursday.”
“He might not make it,” she cries.
“Are you ready?” I ask her. “I’m trying to be. He’s touched so many lives. He has done so much in his lifetime. I think of all the places we’ve been, all we’ve done, and I’m so grateful that it’s been with him. He’s a great man. It’ll be so hard to let him go.”
I’ve never heard her break up like this. “I’m so sorry I can’t be there for you.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says.
Silence.
Then Dad’s voice, faint and quivering. “I love you so much,” he cries, “so much. I treasure you. I loved working with you. Be steadfast. I’ll be looking for you, Son. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper to the dial tone.

A Hero Gone to Heaven

Our Pastor has finally gone to be with the Lord whom he loved and served for the past 30+ years. He's battled with a very rare, genetic disease that only handful of Doctors in America had ever even heard of before. In the past 2 1/2 years, he took a turn for the worse and several times they thought he was in his last hours. He was on and off dialysis, in and out of the hospital, saw over 30 different doctors, both traditional and natural. None of them could get his body to accept protein and he slowly lost weight and strength. In February of 2008, he moved to NM in hopes of recovering there. An amazing doctor took his case and a wonderful hospital and staff treated him like royalty, charging him nothing for the care he received. They were able to administer high doses of a special protein that wasn't available here. Basically they were keeping him alive.

For the past few months, we knew it would only be a matter of time. He decreased rapidly. He could no longer counsel over the phone. His bad days were far more than his good. His life that he loved--a fireball, energetic preacher--was over and he occupied two places: an easy chair or his bed. Several weeks ago he was placed in ICU, and a few weeks after that put in hospice for his last days or weeks alive. They took him off of dialysis and all other medication and he got worse even quicker, as you can imagine. This whole time his wife would not leave his side. He couldn't do anything for himself and she did it all. She has stuck by him all these years, reading new books and research on how she could possibly make his condition better. God had other plans.

Pastor's wish always was to die preaching in the pulpit on the Lords day. Physically, he had to stop preaching months ago, but I bet that in his dreams he was preaching for his last time on earth before he went to meet his Lord on his day. January 25th, 2009 at 7pm. He was 56 years old. What sorrow for his family and church and yet what rejoicing for him! No more pain! No more suffering! No more dialysis! Only an eternity of worshiping at the feet of Jesus in a perfect, brand new body!

Caleb, one of his sons in prison, was able to call and talk the day before his daddy died. Because he was incoherent, he was able to talk to his Mom. This sort of thing doesn't happen in the prison system, so Praise the Lord for working it out! Please pray for Josh and Caleb who had to sit in prison through all this. The last time they saw their dad they never knew it would be the last time. They never got to say goodbye, although I'm sure in letters they have.

Please continue to pray especially for Mrs. Thompson, their 7 children, spouses and their 16 grandchildren and our church family. This is a time of sorrow, but the rejoicing for him masks much of that grief. Mrs. T. will have a huge void in her life as she has lived for taking care of her husband tirelessly for the past several years.

Please pray for my father-in-law who has been his assistant for 30 years, following him faithfully like no man I have ever seen.

His oldest son Adam is now our Pastor and we are very excited to see what the Lord will do through him to bring our church to it's full potential.

Pastor, you will be missed. We love you and are so thankful for the impact you have had on hundreds of lives. We will see you soon!

Pastor Thompson Update

Most of you know that our Pastor has been deathly ill for a few years now with a rare genetic disease. It attacks the kidneys and liver and causes his body not to absorb any protein. So he's been "wasting" for a while now. He only weighs 110 pounds. It is truly amazing that he is still alive, but it's obvious that he is holding on for something!
He's been living a Los Cruses, NM, since January. The hospitals there can give him the specific protein medication that he needs and he has a special doctor treating his case. Here he never got care like that, so they have to stay there basically to keep him alive. He's been on and off dialysis several times now.
At this point, he has shingles which are causing him intense pain. He is totally bed ridden now, and he may shuffle to his chair in his living room once in a while. After that it's back to bed. For weeks has not been able to counsel or talk to anyone except for one of his sons. He hasn't even talked to my FIL who is the assistant Pastor. It seems clear that he is going home soon, but yet we've said that so many times.
At this point, it's hard to know what to pray. Do you pray for god to just take him home? He cannot do what he lives for and loves--preach--and he's living away from all of his family, grandchildren and church family. His wife is also going through the separation of her children and grandchildren since she is there with him. It seems that if the Lord was going to heal him he would have done it by now, but perhaps he has some purpose planned that we cannot see.

Please pray that the Holy Spirit would intercede for us as we do not know what to pray, and for us as a church without our Pastor for 8 months now and for comfort for his family.

Pastor T. Update

Pastor Thompson has incredibly improved. He has more energy than he has in years, he says, and is pacing the halls of the hospital trying to get rid the energy! Right now the hospital will not release him until he has a portable dialysis machine, so that is a huge issue of prayer. He needs a certain kind and they are very expensive. He will need someone to sponsor him and buy it for him. He was hoping to be able to finance it but it sounds like he won't be able to do that.
He is not nearly fully recovered and unless there is a miracle, he never will be. He will have to be on dialysis for the rest of his life. His kidneys are totally shut down right now.
Thank you all so much for your prayers, and please continue praying. At this point he weighs 124 pounds and has lost all his muscle mass so it will be a long road for him to be able to gain weight and build muscle again.
Again, thanks so much for your prayers! They work!