So this is Love...

(ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MONDAY, APRIL 25, 2011)

He was laying in the sand, mostly covered in it from the kids burying their daddy. The kids had lost interest and moved on to something else while I watched them, making sure they didn't wander too far away or go too deep into the water. Most of the morning had been like that and it was fine with me--we brought the kids to the beach for Easter weekend and I was more than happy to focus on them and make sure they were safe and having fun. I couldn't help but think of our honeymoon and the fun we had playing in the waves, his strong arms wrapped around me, keeping me from floating too far away from him. It's different now--we have kids to take care of and can't just leave them to fend for themselves so there was no swimming and playing for us yet.
 But he just looked so handsome and strong and I couldn't resist. I thought of our honeymoon and I didn't want that spark to be any different than it was at this moment.
 I jumped out of my chair, went and leaned over and started making out with my husband.
(Yes, I did. I'm married and we are allowed and as our Pastor says, "Christians should be the most making out couples in the world" :)
 Nate was surprised and laughed as I kissed him for a few more seconds and then ran into the water, squealing because it was so cold. He got out from under the pile of sand and ran after me, his blue eyes twinkling while he smiled and looked and me with so much love in his eyes I felt like my heart could burst. He wrapped his arms around me as he carried me a little deeper in to the water to protect me from floating too far away from him. My sister was with us so she kept an eye on the kids while we played in the the waves, getting sprayed with salt water, flirting, laughing and yes-kissing a little more. It was different than 5 years ago when we did it--my eyes wandered to the kids occasionally, making sure they were OK. We couldn't stay out there as long as we wanted, but the love and the passion between us was just as strong as it was when we were first married. Really, it's much stronger than it was then but sometimes it takes a little moment like that to realize it.
 Our lives get very wrapped up in our kids--feeding, bathing, entertaining, training and loving--but sometimes you just have to get up, realize the kids will be fine and go make out with that handsome man you married. Because he deserves it, you deserve it and your marriage deserves it.

Give Yourself Grace

This week has been so good. I'm still processing all that we learned at our couples retreat this past weekend, looking over my notes and thinking it over. 

 We had such a wonderful time, and in contrast to other years I came home with new goals that didn't really have anything to do with marriage; the goals had everything to do with marriage. We were given little golden nuggets of truth: loving God's Word, making prayer a priority, dying to self, walking in the spirit and doing it all with humility. Getting these down is pretty much the formula to the perfect marriage, right?! Of course, the last point I took away from it was "growing in grace" and allowing yourself leeway when you mess up. Which I inevitably will numerous times a day, because I'm human. So, while there are no expectations or plans to be a perfect wife/mom/woman, I'm aiming for higher ground--which is what we should always be doing anyway, right? 

 We as woman are so hard on ourselves. While being tender and gracious to others, we scrutinize everything about our own selves: weight, looks, hair and the inward "man of the heart" doesn't get a break either. We yell at the kids and we beat ourselves up for it. We get guilty because we didn't spend much time with the kids that day, or because we were sarcastic with our husband.

 Listen, dear Mommy. You are doing the best you can. Allow yourself to grow in grace! God allows you too, so try treating yourself how Jesus treats you as his beautiful bride. You are the perfect mommy for your children, and they are the best little forgivers (just made that word up) ever. Give yourself some leeway while doing the best that you can. It is enough!

Favorite photos from this week:

If he were a girl, he wouldn't need mascara, that's for sure!

Love seeing him learn and explore more and more each day. This is his current favorite toy that lights up and sings. He loves pushing the buttons over and over :)

#droolfordays

She loves that she can change him, dress him, carry him around and hold him all the time. She's a little mommy and such a big helper!

Is this not the picture of total chaos?! I love it!

Happy Friday! Give yourself some extra grace today. :)

10 years of Valentines Days: Then and Now

Headed to our annual couple's retreat this weekend

Nate and I celebrated our first Valentine's Day together 10 years ago. I remember it like yesterday though. We were in a long-distance relationship and he had sent me a box of presents. We video chatted so we could open our presents in front of each other. The main thing he had gotten me was an adorable little bear from build-a-bear that he had made himself, and put a recording of his voice in it so I could hear him anytime I wanted. It was so romantic and thoughtful and I was over the moon for him. That is exactly what our love looked like back then. It was thoughtful and sweet and romantic, full of hours of words spoken on the phone every day about how we felt about each other. We talked about the future, and we couldn't wait to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.

 I knew he was going to be a great husband. I also was pretty positive that he was going to be an amazing dad. One thing, however, that I didn't really expect was the great team would we would become over the years. A few weeks ago before we left for vacation, we were working together side-by-side without many words being spoken between us. I was lining things up to go out the door, preparing snacks and dinner for when we were in the car, and he was loading everything up. The occasional,  "did you pack this charger? Can you throw this in the blue bag?" was said, but other than that we were all business as we tried to get out the door. The kids and dog were underfoot and the baby was starting to get fussy because he was hungry. 

 To view it  from the outside couldn't have looked any further from romance, but in our hearts we could hear the unspoken words: I love you. You are my best friend and even though we can't say it right now, there is no one I would rather do life with than you. 

 That's what our love looks like now. Yes, we have plenty of romantic moments, but just Less Build-a-bear and more Building-our-marriage on the strongest foundation of all: Jesus Christ. 

 Parenting is no joke. It's completely exhausting and overwhelming a lot of the time. When I'm nursing the baby and he's corralling the other 3, and then without exchanging a word, I hand him the baby and pick up where he's left off with the older kids, I'm so thankful to be doing life as a team with my best friend.

Happy Valentines Day!

Living the Dream

This week, Nate and I celebrated 8 years of marriage.

 8 years! 

 It's hard to believe, but our 3 children bouncing around and my ever-growing belly says it's true. 8 years with my best friend. What a dream! Eight years with someone defintely has it's ups and downs but thankfully, we've had more ups than downs. I'm sure there will be many more downs and significant trials in the coming years but there is no one I would rather face them with than my man!
 When I first found out he liked me, I couldn't believe it. Actually, back up. When I first met him I said to myself "too bad I would never end up with a guy like him." Seriously you guys, this is how infatuated I was with him! I had never met anyone quite like him. So when he chose me?! I actually started crying, because it seemed so unbelievable. Those first few months I felt like I was holding my breath, waiting for it all to go wrong because it was too good to be true.
 Well, it turns out that when you live for God many things in your life seem too good to be true. God's hand is on our lives, blessing us at every turn. And no, that doesn't mean we live easy or never have rough times. It just means that we get this amazing life that our Saviour makes worth living--and then Heaven at the end!
 Talk about a dream!

 Happy Anniversary, Babe. I love you!

We are excited about celebrating the fourth this weekend as a family. We tried to make plans with family and friends but they all fell through so we took it as a sign to spend time with just each other, which I'm excited about! A small town parade in the morning, fun patriotic colored foods for dinner, and fireworks at night.

 I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Rested and Renewed

More than a year ago, we started planning what we called our "big" anniversary trip. I realize that most people rarely get to do something like this, let alone less than 8 years into marriage.
 But we picked the ideal place (for us), planned, saved and made it happen.
 Actually, my husband made it happen, something that I will be forever grateful for. My love language is quality time, which is one of the higher maintenance love languages with a very busy lifestyle. We sit on the couch and talk after the kids go to bed and we make time for date nights, but we don't truly connect as often as we would like. Church ministries, kids, work and responsibilities are all very demanding and don't leave much time for us.
 Well, for 9 whole days, it was just us. We stayed in a tropical paradise--a gorgeous resort right on Daytona Beach with a room that opened just steps from the pool, and the pool just feet from the beach.

 Sharing the first part of our trip in more pictures, less words, because palm trees, water and blue skies speak for themselves.

For the last few days of our trip, we went to Orlando to stay at my grandparents, who let us use their winter place because they had already left to go back to N.Y. for the summer. They live in an over 55 community during the winter and as a kid I loved it because we spent vacations there growing up. Now, I love it because it seems like the most quiet, peaceful place on earth and as a Mom of three loud children, peace is medicinal. 

The big question everyone asks after a vacation is, "so what did you do?" To answer that: nothing. We did nothing. I mean yes, we shopped, we ate, we swam--but a large majority of my time was spent unwinding, talking to my husband and truly connecting with him. Along with a lot of poolside reading, of course.

 When we came home, we couldn't stop squeezing and kissing the kids, so excited to show them their presents and the pictures of the trip. I'm back to the beautiful chaos that is called home, rested and renewed and more in love with my man than ever.

Valentines Weekend 2014

This was the 4th year of our church's Couple's Retreat and each year just gets better and better! This year, I decided to leave my camera home and just focus on enjoying every moment. I did pull my Iphone out a few times (of course), so that's what I'll leave you with here.

 Each year we've seen friends come and go, but God has also given us new friends that have helped challenge us spiritually and also given us the best stomach workouts from laughing so much! We had lunch outside one day, breakfast with Robby and Joanna and one evening we sat at a restaurant for 3 hours, talking and laughing--but mostly laughing. Fellowship with God's children is so sweet!

 As for our alone time, we walked (the weather was perfect), talked, ate, laughed, and listened intently in each session, drinking in the practical messages. We also won the newlywed game! Woo hoo! ;)

 Our marriage was helped this weekend, and I'm so thankful for the time away!

Happy Weekend

This weekend was full of happy things. Reconnecting with my husband after weeks of a crazy work schedule, a night with girlfriends celebrating their birthdays, and a birthday party for a sweet little 2 year old. The past few weeks have been really rough on me, I'm not gonna lie. I think it was a combination of no husband (thankfully that wasn't permanent--ha!) and kids going through rough stages that left me feeling really strung out. My sweet husband sent me on a day out that consisted of shopping at my own speed, buying clothes for the kids, and a makeover that consequently resulted in some new makeup. That, plus quality time spent with my man and friends has left me feeling refreshed and recharged. Amazing what a little bit of time alone will do! For our dates, we are trying to do something other than a sit down restaurant. This time was sushi in the park and then a beautiful walk along the river--Nate's idea. Next time will be my turn to think of something. Since we don't get quantity time alone, we need quality and that is exactly what this was.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend as well. Don't forget to make time for yourself, your spouse and your friends! 

Couple's Retreat, 2013

The couple's retreat this year was different for us this year. Still really special, but in a different way. In years past, we've kept to ourselves, desperate for a little alone time together without kids. We didn't plan on doing any differently this year, but it just worked out that we ended up hanging out with other couples after the evening sessions and around meal times. There was a really great feeling of unity amongst everyone, and we all had such a fun time. I actually have not laughed and had that much fun in a very long time. We sat around the fire, roasting marshmallows and making s'mores, ordering a ridiculous amount of pizza, chicken wings, nachos and burgers and all sharing amongst ourselves while laughing our heads off over who knows what. :) It reminded me of camp as a kid, where everyone just lets loose and has a grand old time. The sessions were great and very helpful for marriages and really helped me in other areas as well. He spoke on topics you don't hear about a lot, including a wounded spirit (really great for me right now) and allowing demonic presence into our homes.

  Our Pastor does a great job of picking the perfect speaker each year and we are really, really greatful.

 

 

The marriage bliss bar: 50% hers, 50% his





 

 

2 nights of memories around the fire

 

 

Games during the sessions

 

 

Even though we enjoyed our friends, there was lots of alone time with my man as well

 



I think I needed the retreat this year more than ever, and I didn't even realize it. The past few months have brought a lot of needed changes for me and I've lost some close friends in the process. It hasn't been easy, but I'm closer to the Lord than ever before and my standards and convictions are stronger than ever. To spend time with people that are headed the same direction as us strengthed my spirit. Of course, I'm sure the time alone with my husband had nothing to do with it. ;)



In Sync

Nate and I start out on our run, even though it's the last thing I want to do. It's been a stressful day full of accidents, disobedient children, a short tempered Mom and a needy baby.  All I want to do is sit down and relax, but I know I'll feel better when we're done.
 So we go. The air is thick and muggy, it's 90 degrees, and I'm sticky before we even start. I'm not doing this for enjoyment, that's for sure.
 We settle into our thing, him setting the course, me setting the pace. I follow when he turns, and he slows down when I start to lag. He could run faster and longer, but his desire to be with me outweighs his desire to burn a few extra calories. We talk here and there, but mostly we  listen to our feet hitting the pavement and our breathing quicken as our heart rates rise.
 We cross the road to the sidewalk and I end up closer to the street. Without saying a word, he slows down, taps my behind and we switch places. He's a gentleman, and he wants to be closest to the street in case something happens. Apparently, that was also a good time to tap my rear end. Duh.
 The dark patches of road and looming shadows don't seem as scary as when I ran alone a few nights ago. In fact, I don't notice them at all. My strong man is running next to me. I'm safe, secure and if anything happens, I know he'll swat away the bad guys without batting an eye.
 3 miles later, we slow to a walk and our heart rates back down. I slip my hand into his and we walk the last mile together.
 He runs, I follow. I slow, his pace pulls back. We cross, and switch. No words, we just know. We're in sync with each other, and it feels good.

To Us.

"I have a surprise," Nate announced earlier in the week. He had booked us a hotel for our anniversary that weekend and taken care of babysitting for the 2 older ones. We were looking forward to it all week, but when Friday came, Joe had watery eyes, green snot and a nasty cough. No way could I bring him to a babysitter like that--especially considering that it was my sister-in-law who has 5 kids of her own.

 We considered cancelling the reservations and doing it the next weekend when I suggested just bringing the kids with us. 

 Romantic, no, but a fun family getaway? Yes.

 And so we celebrated our 6th anniversary with 3 kids in tow and had the time of our lives. 

(Because of all the bags I would be carrying around, I decided to leave the big camera home and use only my iphone for pictures.)

We started out the evening at a favorite pizza place. There was a lot of, "don't touch that," "stop doing that", and "sit down", along with a spilled cup of ice water, but mostly it was spent soaking up every minute of time together as a family.

After that, we walked  into the gorgeous lobby of our fancy hotel looking like the Beverly Hillbillies. I laughed and said I was embarrassed, so Nate checked in alone while we waited on the side and blended in with the scenery. You can't spot us, can you?

After that it was down to the pool right away. We forgot the floaties and I forgot something to swim in, so I sat outside of the pool with the baby and watched Nate play with the kids.

 The hotel was downtown surrounded by the beautiful city, but my favorite view was watching the father to my children hold them tight, laughing and having a good time. I never thought when we got married that 6 years later our arms would be full with three beautiful babies and we would be more in love than ever.

After we got in our room and everyone dried off and changed, I put the baby to bed (practically in the bathroom :) and we all piled on the bed to cuddle and watch a movie.

By the time the movie finished, it was late and the kids crashed out within a few minutes of settling down.

We ordered room service--an amazing mousse cake for me and apple tart with vanilla ice cream for him. We sat eating, sharing bites, laughing softly and whispering so that we wouldn't wake up our beautiful sleeping babies. That part? Was Romantic.

 The kids were all up before 8:00 the next morning, so we didn't get to sleep in too late, but cuddling and laughing on the big soft bed together and talking about the days' plans was better than a little extra sleep. 

 When we left Saturday morning we tried to be super cool and all city-like and find a trailer downtown to eat out of, but after driving around for a while, we ended up at our all time favorite diner. It was perfect.

After that it was a trip to the mall, where I have not been in months. Taking all three to the mall for several hours was actually way more fun than it sounds. They behaved great and all got rewarded with new sunglasses. Joe scratched his within a few minutes, and by the next day they were bent beyond repair. Thankfully they were less that $2.00!

When we got home I put on my wedding dress (that I can still zip up but definitely would pass out if I had to wear it all day) and got a few pictures. Brookie was so excited to see me in the dress and Buddy settled down on the train, ready for a nap.

 The kids went to bed by 7pm because they had no naps, and Nate went and bought us a cake to cut. It had layers of chocolate mousse and custard and was the perfect size for two.

 We cut it with the same knives we used for our wedding, fed each other a piece and kissed. And then we sat in silence as we stuffed our face with the rest of the cake that was a little taste of Heaven.

We are living proof that you can find romance even after kids come along. Even though we had them with us all weekend, we still found plenty of moments for smooches, eye gazes, hugs and "I love you's". No, we will never be as focused on just each other as we were 6 years ago, but now it's even better and our love is stronger than ever.

Happy Anniversary. To Us.