A Very Merry Christmas

The Sunday before Christmas, our Pastor started out his sermon talking about expectations. For me, Christmas is  all about expectations, tradition and childhood memories. I require a certain setting for it "be Christmas". A huge Christmas eve party with friends at my parents house, Christmas morning at the grandparents with Grandpa's egg casserole and Grandma yelling for everyone to sit down, my Mom's stockings for all of us overflowing onto the floor, my dad's hilarious gifts for my Mom and my Aunt's pizza. Ideally, the ground is covered in white and Bing Crosby is singing "White Christmas" in the background. My first 2 Christmas' were spent in Texas and while I was a happy newly-wed, I compared everything to my childhood Christmas and was left very disappointed. When we knew we wouldn't be "home for Christmas" this year, I made the decision then and there that I would not be disappointed again, and instead, make the most of it and enjoy every moment.

 His comments about expectations were perfect for me. I went into Christmas expecting it to be exactly what I made of it, not what I grew up knowing.

Christmas Eve morning

Christmas Eve: Skype Party with my family. It made me miss them more, but I also felt like I was there with them. Thank God for technology! 

The first thing I wanted to do was fill our home with as many family and friends as we could on Christmas Eve. Our house was full and bustling with 40 people when I came down with a horrible stomach flu and had to retreat to my room. I wasn't expecting that! ;) I'm thankful for lots of friends and my amazing husband who pitched in helped clean my house while I was sick.

{Insert no pictures here} :)

I couldn't make the Christmas morning breakfast I had planned, so we're doing it on New Year's Eve instead. Even though I felt pretty devastated the night before, (my best friends and sisters know this from the texts I sent them) I was so excited for the kids to open their gifts that I didn't spend to much time pitying myself.

  Honestly, I don't think I made any new traditions this year--I was trying to keep from barfing on the presents--but the day was still magical, starting out with the Christmas story and filled with happy squeals and laughter as the wrapping paper was ripped off of new toys. I am so blessed.

His First Christmas, 9 1/2 months old

Nate loves the downtown skyline, and since he works there, I thought it would make a great gift! Drove the kids downtown and waited for perfect light to get this shot.

A New Camera bag. My other one is awesome too, but this will be better for carrying both baby and camera supplies when we're traveling and out and about. I love it!

Stockings really are the best part of Christmas, hands down.

I forgot to get him a gift. Brookie gave him a candy cane as a consolation prize.

Later that day, Nate's family came over for more food and games. I still wasn't feeling too good, so I was glad that I had cooked most of it the day before!

I loved our Christmas this year! I'm looking forward to celebrating a New Year in just a few days and all of the reflection that comes along with it. Merry, Merry Christmas.

It's a Clan, it's a tribe, It's Family

I'm not sure when living long distance from family is supposed to get easier. I guess in a way the pain dulls after a while because you settle into your own routine and lives, but the awareness of the void in your heart only grows stronger as the years go on.

I'm so happy where I live, I really am. But that doesn't mean that I don't miss my family like crazy when I'm not around them. My youngest sister was 1 when I got married, which means I've missed out on most of her life. I've missed 3 out of 4 siblings High School Graduations, years of birthdays and lots of hugs and kisses.

My kids are just starting to know and love their great grandparents, which I'm thankful for, but also sad that they won't really ever appreciate them like I do. I'm blessed that I still have almost all of my grandparents living but I know they won't be around forever and I'm sad for the years I've missed living so far away.

If I focused on what I've missed instead of what I've experienced with my family in the past 6 years, I would be sad and depressed most of the time. Instead I've learned to accept and love my life a few thousand miles away from home and whole-heartedly enjoy the moments we do spend together.

 The "Preach-a-ria"

 Remembering hilarious bloopers while singing over the years. When my sisters and I laugh, we really laugh. It's more like screaming and it's the best feeling ever.

 Baking Cake with Nonnie

My kids know their grandparents and love them to death. They know and love their Aunts, Uncles and cousin, and we get to spend so much more time with them than most long distance families that I could never complain.

 Digging for worms to go fishing

 I grew up fishing here, right in my parents back yard. We always caught so many little fish!

We've all heard it over and over again--family remains when friends leave--and I've seen it over and over again. I have a very small group of friends that has been the same since I was young, but other than that, friends have been in and out of my life since I can remember. People change, lives change, standards change, and while we don't want to grow apart from people, we do.
 But family? Family is always there, eating cake and ice cream and wearing cone shaped hats at all our birthday parties, wishing us the best at our graduations, clinking glasses at our weddings. The same people who bounced me on their lap are now bouncing my kids. They love us, they care for us like their own children and we feel the same way about them.

My life is so different now from 6 years ago, but it's better. Despite the 1700 miles that separate us, my family and I are closer now than ever before. Our hearts are knit and nothing can come between us. Besides the last piece of dad's pizza, of course.

The Perfect Fried Egg

Dad,

 Almost every time I fry an egg I think of you. I think of the most amazing breakfast's you make us--the potatoes with just the right amount of grease and crispiness, the bacon cooked to perfection, toast lathered with butter and of course the ever perfect fried egg. To this day I can't cook them right. I flip them too early or too late and when I do, they fold into a weird shape and the yolk runs out into the pan. As I dump the blob of what used to be an egg onto my plate I wonder if I'll ever be able to cook them like you do.

 There are a lot of other things I wonder if I'll ever be able to do like you. I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at anything and put a spiritual application into it. I wonder if I'll ever have the boldness to declare the name of Jesus Christ like you do.  I wonder if I'll have the walk with God like you do, and the heart to help people like you do. 

 I wonder if you know what an impact the missions trips, special meetings all over the country, the street preaching, door knocking, prayer meetings, devotions and family rap sessions had on my life. I wonder if you know how much I loved our heart-to-heart talks, hung on every word, and even when I disagreed,  look back now and think, "he was right."

 I wonder if you know how much I appreciate and admire the love and passion you have for my Mom, even after 27 years of marriage. I wonder if you remember the best birthday of my life--when I turned 17. You woke me up at 5 in the morning after driving an hour in the snow to come back from the men's meeting and take me out to breakfast. For the next few hours we talked and laughed and I thought, "I can't believe he came back for my birthday". 

 Just 3 years later, I took your arm, the doors opened and the crowd stood as the bridal march was played. It was all a blur but I remember thinking, "this is the day I've dreamed of. My daddy is walking me down the aisle....these are my last moments with him." You gave me away to the new man in my life. My new authority, the one who would take care of me now. I wonder how hard that was for you but I know you were  content knowing it was God's will.

 Now we live thousands of miles apart but our hearts are more bonded than ever, cherishing the emails, phone calls and visits. And I know that this sounds cliche', but no matter how far apart we are, you're always so close to my heart.
 Today, I watched as my little girl sat and waited while her daddy cooked her a fried egg sandwich. She ate it with abandon, the same way I would eat your eggs. Maybe someday she'll write a love letter to him, remembering the eggs, the talks, the trips. I can only pray they have the same relationship that we have.
 I love you, dad. I wish I could be with you on this Father's Day, just like I wish I could be with you on every Father's Day. But for now this will have to do.

 Always your little girl,

 Jen

A Special Night

I am documenting this night mainly for me, because I don't want to ever forget it, although I don't think I will. After Claire and Greg's rehearsal dinner we all came home and everyone either went to bed or was busy preparing for the next day. :) Greg was working on a slide show for the end of the ceremony and Nate was working on the programs.
Our little sisters went to bed and it was just the 5 oldest girls in the kitchen and family room. We hung up our dresses, painted our toes, glued on fake nails, plucked our eyebrows, all the while laughing our heads off hysterically. It was a classic ** my maiden name** girl moment!
Not that we don't love them :), but my husband was no where to be found. Claire's husband was no where to be found. It was just us girls, having a great "last night" together before our lives changed once again. (The first time was when I got married, of course). I couldn't have imagined a better way to spend that night before the most exciting day in Claire's life came.
I love my sisters. I miss them terribly. I miss the common sense of humor that we have, when we can say just a word or two and we all burst into laughter and no one else in the room seems to see what is so funny. We don't try to explain because it only gets worse.
I love how the slightest thing can happen when I'm not with them and I say, out loud, "I have to call Claire" and tell her and she will laugh just like I did--just like I knew she would. Sometimes there just isn't anyone else that can share that--even a husband or a best friend. (Although mine do most of the time :).
So, I know each of you guys will read this. I love you all so much. I love that I have so many sisters--the Lord knew just what we needed and made each of us different yet so alike so that our bond can never be broken! I love you!!!!

These pictures are so weird...maybe it will help you see the awesome night that we had and how crazy we all were being. :) We look pretty bad, but I think we all made up for it at the wedding the next day! haha!!

If you still think we are normal after this, you are insane--just like us. :) Like I said, this was mainly for me to remember!