If there is one thing that marriage has taught me about myself, it's that I am a very selfish person. When you grow up with 9 kids in the house,( and often times other people staying with or living with you!), there's not a lot of room for your selfishness to show.
Now, I'm living with my husband and one child. He adores me and wants to make me happy, so it's very easy for me to be selfish, and of course to see it.
Thankfully, I do see it and I'm really working on it. I've learned that there is one way to get rid of it: giving. Giving makes me the happiest person in the world, and makes me focus on someone other than my self.
I am the typical girl; I love flowers, chocolate, jewelry, little presents, love notes and especially quality time with my man. Sometimes I have a pity party for myself that I don't get these things on a regular basis, and when I'm thinking about it, it will often turn into me getting upset at him about it. He feels bad, then I feel bad, and we waste a nice night we could have had together having an argument. (Not because he doesn't want to. Because it takes me a while to get over things--another thing I'm working on, but we'll save that for another time :)
So lately, I've been trying something. I've been giving of myself more. I've been truly loving him the way he needs to be loved, without an attitude or the "I have a headache" excuse. It's truly amazing how much happier I am in our relationship. I feel closer to him, and I feel that spark in our marriage that goes dull once in a while. Mainly, I love to feel like my husbands' girlfriend and see that twinkle in his eye when he looks at me from across the room!
I think of the verse, "Give, and it shall be given unto you..." and it is so true. Instead of focusing on myself, I focus on him and his needs and I become the better for it.
And, what do you know. Right now I am savoring a little piece of dove dark chocolate, which has pink wrappers, because he knows I love pink and chocolate. What a Man!
3 comments:
I thought I was the only young bride (years ago) that got upset with her poor husband about the lack of gifts. After years of the Lord working on me, I can see the fruitlessness of those pity-parties!:) I'll have to blog about the night I spent in my car over such a pity party. Anyway, the Lord is so patient with us and we're both so blessed to have incredible patient and loving husbands. Keep learning, keep giving and your love will continue to grow stronger. Thanks for your honesty, Jenna.
What a great blog. Marriage is for sure full of lessons. It's the never ending lesson in fact. I too can be so selfish, but I think that there is no room for that in marriage. Thanks for the encouragement.
Well I have to say...even with 9 kids in my family I still tend to be pretty selfish! "What's mine is mine and everybody else back off!"
Definitely room for improving! :)
Thanx for the post!
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