This is Why

The tiny fingers and toes...

 ...the big brown eyes and the baby blues...

 ...the fuzzy hair...

 ...and the chubby cheeks...

 ...adorable, cheesy smiles...

 and moments of chaos.

This.

This is why I stay with them. Every day, feeding and dressing and bathing, reading books, playing games, kissing owies, teaching and training them.

 Exhausted from nursing every 2 hours, picking up toys for the 8th time today,  breaking up arguments, getting behind on laundry, and wondering if I'll ever have time to spring clean. Or just clean at all.

They are little things compared to the joy that they bring me. Motherhood has it's great times and it has the moments that I feel like I'm drowning, but when my heart skips a beat? That's makes every day worth it. 

I've been given the greatest honor and responsibility: raising children, and you couldn't pay me enough to do anything else.

A Day in the Life: Week 12

This week was long, but good. I had awesome days and I had some days that I wanted to curl up in a bawl, cry and sleep for a few hours. Nathan was fussy and starving on Friday and Saturday and I was totally worn out after not sleeping much, but thankfully Sunday and Monday have been much, much better! So without further ado, week 12!

Monday, March 19th: Last dinner with my Mom here--best brisket in TX (in my opinion :)

Tuesday, March 20th: My first day all by myself with three kids-lots of love going on :)

Wednesday, March 21st: All clean and happy after his first tub bath (we had to wait longer than normal)

Thursday, March 22nd: Walking home from the park

Friday, March 23rd: 3 weeks old

Saturday, March 24th: Looked outside to see the most random little pow-wow ever going on in my backyard (notice the poor dog chained to the chair--they love doing that to him)

Sunday, March 25th: A very happy, content little boy playing on the floor :)

The Gift of the First Day

My Mom did everything in the 3 weeks that she was here. Laundry, housework, dressing and bathing kids, cooking, dishes and grocery shopping. I laid around, and just in the last week or so started helping with some light housework, but for the most part I rested and took care of the baby.

The night before she had to leave, we went to Rudy's for a little dinner splurge and our "last supper".

 The realization of all that she did--and all I didn't do--while she was here started to set in and I began to panic. How will I keep up with everything she did while she was here and care for a newborn at the same time? 3 kids is a whole new ballgame, and up until now it's been great because I haven't done anything but take care of myself, my little baby and some light housework once in a while.

When I picked up a screaming Nathan out of his crib the next morning, I prayed that God would help me with the day. I was dreading it, which sounds pathetic because there are a million and one Mom's around the universe who parent more than three children every single day. I am justifying my less than courages approach by telling myself that it was new to me and I had never experienced it before. And yes, there were tears. I missed my Mom and I was scared of what the day would hold.

The Lord obviously heard my prayers. Nathan took a long morning nap while the other kids and I ate breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, straightened the house and did some laundry. He woke up, ate and happily sat in his little basket while we moved on to making, eating and cleaning up lunch.

After lunch I sat outside and watched the kids play. While Nathan slept in his car seat, Brooke and Joe ran up and down the sidewalk, took off their shoes after they got wet in the mud, and balanced on one leg. It all felt so--normal. Natural, peaceful and almost too good to be true. 

This one took a 3.5 hour nap in the basket, which is VERY rare for him. He's a good sleeper but pretty much eats every 2 hours and doesn't skip a feeding. While he slept, the other kids took great naps and I relaxed, straightened up a little more and smiled a lot.

Why was I surprised when he slept and slept? Or when he was awake and contentedly laid there, observing the world around him?

Why was I surprised when the played sweetly, loved each other and obeyed cheerfully? Haven't I learned that God gives us what we need each and every day? He knew what I needed on that first daunting day of being a Mom of three. I kept waiting for the meltdown, to be pulled in 3 different directions and have to chose which catastrophe to deal with first. It didn't happen, not on that first day.

I didn't have to worry about dinner, since we had leftover sauce that my Mom made. So I guess she was still with us in spirit, and boy did we enjoy that!

 The long naps, the hugs and kisses, the sweet spirits, the housework done, the baths given--there was not one stressful moment in the whole day. Anyone who is a Mom knows that there is usually a moment in a day when you've had it UP TO HERE but on that first day I didn't have one. It was sunshine and roses, really. 

I crawled into bed that night and thanked the Lord for his help that day. The awesome thing is that it's still going really well, despite a few poopy diaper blowouts, a messy house that had to stay that way for a little while as I took care of kids and a basket of clean laundry that still needs to be folded and put away. But God gave me that perfect first day and I'll forever be grateful to him for that incredible gift. I should have never doubted that with his grace we would settle into a perfectly normal routine that feels so natural it could have always been this way.

A Day in the Life: Week 11

This was my Mom's last week here and it was lots of fun--still relaxing, but we went to the Outlet Mall one evening when the guys were gone, went to church Wednesday and Sunday and hung out with our cousins on Sunday night.

Monday, March 12th: Grandma comes for a visit

 Tuesday, March 13th: Popcorn for dinner is what he wanted...

 Wednesday, March 14th: Nonnie taking the kids to the park on a beautiful day

 Thursday, March 15th: Chick-fil-a and Outlet shopping!

 Friday, March 16th: Candid moment of hugs and kisses. So glad my camera was there to capture this :)

Saturday, March 17th: Green for Saint Patrick's Day :)

 Sunday, March 18th: Nathan's first Sunday at church

(Joe was NOT having his picture, so this was a memory more than a great family picture ;)

Well, I hear a baby who just woke up and thinks he hasn't eaten in days-when in reality it's only been 2 hours--so I better sign off now. Have a great day!

Full Hands and Full Heart

Nathan has had a few great nights, and a few not so great nights. I'm a lot more lenient now than I was with number one--holding more, snuggling more, and knowing that I probably won't spoil a newborn by holding him too much. Other than the few rough nights, he's been very easy and content. When he's awake he'll just lay there looking around and it's not long before I have to pick him up and kiss his cheeks! Nursing is going well, my easiest one yet! He eats every 2-3 hours and usually needs a little extra after he's done, just like Joey did. Something about those little boys--they are eating machines!

Nate was able to be home a lot for the first week, which he's not been able to do before. (I've always had help from my family so there was no need for him to take off, however this time, he was able to work home). It was so nice to have him around and I know it provided a little stability for Joey when he was being a little emotional about everything. He's taken the baby for me a few times at 4 or 5 am after a long night and calmed him down and at that point, I can't think of anything sweeter! :)

For the Sunday I was in the hospital, and next Sunday I was home, we were able to watch the services at my dad's church. It was such a blessing to be able to have church while resting at home, and Nathan loves hearing his Poppy preach. :)

My recovery is going well, simply because my Mom is here doing absolutely everything while I take care of me and the baby. I've said it over and over, but I don't know what I would do without her at this point in my life. Adjusting to three kids in the house has been easy so far because of her. I'll admit I'm a little nervous about her leaving and how I'll handle everything then, but hopefully we'll just ease into life that feels normal.

My weight has come off a lot faster than the others did which is surprising but awesome! By the end of week one, I only had 11 pounds left to lose! Apparently, having a big baby is the best weight loss program ever. :) I'm looking forward to when I can start working out again, taking the kids for walks and just generally be a little more active than I am right now. :)

Well, I think that's all the updates for now. We are doing really well, and every day I realize how truly blessed I am. My hands are full but so is my heart.

 I hope you all are having a great week!

A Day in the Life: Week 10

I just realized that almost all of my pictures this week were taken on the couch. That's because I obviously haven't been going anywhere and we've all been home loving on each other this week, and I think the photos from this week portray that well!

Monday, March 5th: Softly rubbing his brother's forehead. Be still my beating heart!

 Tuesday, March 6th: Potty Training!

 Wednesday, March 7th: She loves holding and talking to him. Love this moment!

Thursday, March 8th: Just chillin'

Friday, March 9th: 1 Week Old! 

Saturday, March 10th: It's not all sunshine and roses all the time... :) (taken while I was trying to do a little photo shoot of him. Thankfully I did get several adorable ones!)

Sunday, March 11th: Sunday afternoon nap (and an adorable little stretch) 

Nathan Robert Enters the World

We arrived at the hospital at 5:30am and I stood outside for one last belly picture at 39 weeks 2 days. :) We went in, waited around (of course), got checked in and paperwork filled out and finally over an hour later headed upstairs to our room. 

When we got into our room I changed into the flattering and beautiful hospital gown, answered a million medical history questions, got poked twice with that awful IV needle and generally felt nervous, anxious and excited to meet our baby soon! Nate got ready to text updates to everyone who would want them and we waited a little longer.

I was SO blessed that my Mom made it for the birth and had also asked my sister-in-law to be a part of this day as well. They were both awesome to have there to talk to and hear labor experiences from before mine started. Between us there had been 16 births so we had lots to talk about. :)

Before she broke my water, my midwife checked me and I was dilated to almost 5 centimeters and 70% effaced. This made me SO happy as I had been 3 cm for 3 weeks, and just a few days before was still the same. I was feeling like I may be going into labor on my own in the next few days (just pretty strong braxton hicks and the baby had become less active) and I guess I was right--stuff was definitely happening!

At 8:20am she broke my water and after the baby was monitored for a little while, I was able to walk the halls with the portable monitor to help get things going. At that point my stomach felt very tight and slightly crampy, but not labor yet. 

Seeing the crib all set up and the little hat with the diaper in it is SO encouraging, reminding you of the end in sight :)

I walked the halls for about 30-40 minutes and started contractions around 9 that I could still easily walk and talk through. Around 9:30am they picked up but didn't get closer together. At 10:00am I would say that I was in very active labor, but still having good 2-3 minute breaks between each contraction. During that time I was sitting on the birth ball and rocking. Here I am giving my focal point (the swirly threads on the the bed ;) quite the stare down! ;)

I was very thankful for the refresher videos I had watched and was able to deeply breathe through each contraction. Joanna showed Nate an awesome counter pressure on my hips and that really helped take the edge off of that sharp pain. 

Anyway, from 10-10:30 I labored really strong but kept waiting for it to get "Bad". The contractions were bad but not on top of each other and very sporadic. I was shaking and feeling nauseous so I thought that I should get checked just to know where I was at, even though I still felt like it wasn't getting really awful yet.

At 10:40am I was 6cm, 100% effaced and the head was very low. "With the way you go, I would say about 30 minutes", my widwife said. I stood up from being checked and immediately felt the "I can't do it anymore" contractions so I knew the end was in sight. My Mom noticed the difference and suggested I stay standing to help the baby move down quickly. Minutes later I had a very strong urge to push but could tell it wasn't time yet. 

Probably 10 minutes after that my midwife looked at me and said, "Do you want to push your baby out?" (Best words ever to a laboring woman!)

With all my babies, pushing has been such a relief, but also hurt worse each time because they've gotten bigger each time. With Joe and Nathan I asked for a mirror to be able to watch my babies enter the world and help me push more effectively. I sat on the bed and pushed for about 5 minutes, and at 11:06am my Nathan Robert was born! Feeling a tiny human's body wiggle out of you is a feeling I cannot describe, a feeling I can never forget. The most amazing thing was when I reached down and "caught" him and scooped him right up into my arms. I had read about this just a few days before and loved the idea. It was SO special! The emotion captured in this picture is amazing--I'm so thankful my Joanna took all these pictures for me! I love that I have now experienced 3 natural labors. I'm alert and feel everything and even though it is no fun it is truly incredible.

My sisters were on the phone, listening as he came into the world which is why my Mom is holding 2 phones. I LOVE these pictures--they make me cry!

Happy tears!

When they weighed him and said he was 8lb, 11oz, my jaw dropped. I was told by 3 of my Dr's in the past month no more than 7 1/2 pounds, maybe less! I don't know how he fit in there! :)

My sweet, sweet midwife

Joanna and I--I am so glad she got to be there. (Nathan was ready to eat ;)

His first picture with Nonnie! Having the quiet support and presence of my Mom during labor means SO much to me, and having her here for these few weeks while I'm recovering has been wonderful. I don't know what I would do without her!

Heading to get a bath!

My in-laws watched our kids for us and it was so nice to know they were in good hands and I didn't have to worry about them! They brought the kids up later that evening to meet their new brother and they were in love right away. :)

I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I have 3 kids now. I am blessed beyond measure!

After 2 wonderful days in the hospital :), I got Nathan all dressed up to go home. Since then I've been taking it easy, cuddling and snuggling a lot and enjoying my "time off". :)