One of the biggest struggle to me in every day motherhood is finding the balance between the kids and the house. If the house is messy, it's hard to enjoy time with the kids, but when I'm cleaning, I'm missing out on spending time with them. It's an endless circle of needing my sanity and not having stuff piled everywhere, but also feeling guilty about not spending enough time with my babies.
How do you find the balance? Routines, schedules and planning helps, but I haven't found anything that worked great for me. Our lives are very busy with church, school and activities so schedules don't always work out.
Here is what I'm learning, thanks to some really wise things my parents said last month when they were here that stuck with me.
Instead of thinking, "I'm going crazy, the house is a mess,"
I've been trying to think, "how is my home?"
Is there a general sense of cheerfulness and joy in our home? Are we treating each other with kindness? Am I being patient and loving to the kids even when I don't want to? If so, the pile of laundry on the couch and the crumbs on the kitchen floor are ok, because we have the important stuff covered.
When people are coming over and I'm cleaning, I get stressed out very easily. I become snappy with my husband and the kids because I want everything perfect. I'm working hard to change, to focus on what is really important and realize that people really don't care if our home is immaculate. While I can't say that I won't do that again (because no one is perfect) I'm trying to let go. If it's not immaculately perfect, well, you know what? I have 4 kids that I'm raising, they make messes and people totally understand that.
6 comments:
This is a really good post with a great thought. I am always happier and more at ease when my house is clean, but I don't WANT it to be that way. I want to enjoy my kids even when I'd rather be cleaning. Lol It's like 4 kids can make the biggest messes ever in less time than it takes to blink! They clean, I clean, and yet there's always more to be done. My kids are all getting older, though. No more babies. As they get older, their dad and I see more and more of our bad attributes coming out in what they say or how they act. It's odd because you don't even realize how you act until you see it acted out in your child and then it's a reality check! So this thought will definitely help me as I go through my days. :)
Jenna I so needed this post! Thank you so so much! We are all sick with sinus infections and to top that off Dan and I both have Bronchitis! We were gone this past weekend so my house is a WRECK! I need to rearrange the order in which things are running in our lives! Please pray about this whole "work" thing. Dan and I need to make a decision soon. Thanks again for this post really helped me!
Heather, I'll be praying for your work situation.
Being sick is so tough, especially when you've been gone and are trying to unpack and do laundry. :( Hope you all get better soon!
So true. Parenting four under 7 definitely tries me to my innermost being. Through them, our blessings from above, I'm learning to also let go. It doesn't have to be perfect. I also learn to trust God more every day.Wow, I totally understand.
"I totally get it" says mom of 5 kids ages 13 and under ;-) Smart momma you have! Thank you for sharing her wisdom and for sharing your heart. I think all moms struggle with this, so you're not.... I'm not.... alone!
I love this post. I need to work on BOTH! There's always room for improvement. As a new parent, it is a goal of mine not to be the kind of mother constantly yelling at her kids. I'm trying to learn to be understanding and patient. It will take a lot of prayer!
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