Nate is out of town for the weekend, so last night we had a spur of the moment, "hey, lets go do something kids!" moment. I loaded them all up in the car and headed to a huge shopping complex in our area so they could eat and play at the park. After a year, I'm very much used to having 3 kids and doing everything with them, so no big deal, right?
3/4 of the way through our meal, Joe had to go to the bathroom, and it was no where near where we were sitting so I knew there was no way he could go alone, and there was no husband there to take him while I watched the other 2. I was scared (yes, scared) that the waitress would clear away all our food while we were gone, thinking we had left, so I decided we would have to take it with us. We divided up the half eaten plate of grilled cheese, a few apple slices, chocolate milk and a cup of water between us, pushed Nathan in the highchair with wheels and made the long trek to the bathroom. Once in there I realized how ridiculous we looked. Seriously, you guys, it was embarrassing There we were, Nathan sitting in the highchair outside of the stall, and a PLATE OF FOOD and 3 drinks sitting on the bathroom counter while each used the bathroom. Who does that? I'm like a food hoarder, storing away provisions for the next depression. Thank you JESUS, no one came in while we were in there.
We proceeded outside to the park area (food in hand, you better believe that) and set it all on an outdoor table. I walked around, holding one kid and keeping one eye each on the other ones. This park is huge and most of the time I had no idea where they were. 15 minutes later we came back to a clean table, emptied of our provisions we had so tediously carried outside and never finished. Those bus-boys are way to efficient for their own good, I thought, and piled the kids back in the van to go shopping.
We made it through one store uneventfully, so I decided we would do one more family favorite: self serve frozen yogurt. I got Brooke and Joe theirs and let them pick out toppings. Joe went for the cookie-sized balls of cookie dough and some huge sour gummies. I told them to wait while I got mine, but I had hardly turned around before Joseph's cheeks were bulging with a huge chunk of the cookie dough, and next, a gummie. Normally not a bad thing except when you pay by weight and his wasn't weighed yet. He seriously just stole about 50 cents off his yogurt! Thankfully the cashier didn't mind and we proceeded to sit down. We made it through our bowls of yogurt just fine, when Joe had to go to the bathroom again. (big surprise).
I had learned my lesson from last time and we threw all of our bowls out before entering the bathroom. Men's bathroom by the way, but it was a one seater and he had to go bad, and the woman's was locked. So into the Men's bathroom we all went, locking the door behind us.
Joe of course picked that time to do his biggest bowel movement of the day. It's not a quick process, people, so we all waited. He definitely does not take after my family in this area--we are in and out before anyone knows what happened. Not him, so wwhile we waited I threatened to make him stop going and finish when we got home, which was answered by threats from him of pooping his pants in the car. So we waited some more.
I had no choice but to set Nathan on the bathroom floor and next thing I know, he has thrown up on the floor and is smearing it everywhere. I am used to his re-flux and made quick work of cleaning it off of him and the floor but no sooner had we cleaned that up than he is playing in his second puddle of puke. Cleaned up vomit #2, Joe is FINALLY done, and I will confess something that no Mother ever wants to: we did not wash our hands. I am sorry. I had to get out of there before all hell broke loose right there in the Men's bathroom of the frozen yogurt place.
When we got outside it was dark, and the temperature had dropped a lot. The kids hadn't wanted to put their hoodies on earlier so they were immediately freezing. The parking lot was full and as soon as someone saw us near our car, they put on their blinker, indicating that they wanted our spot when we were done. I begin to dig through my bottomless pit diaper bag for my keys, which of course I couldn't find. Switched over to digging through my purse which was on my other shoulder, but they weren't in there, then back to the diaper bag. All the while the kids are complaining of being cold and the hot blonde in the huge truck is glaring, waiting for "her spot". (Note: why would you ever wait for a spot held my someone with 3 little kids? You could birth 3 children by the time they get out of there. But anyway, that's for another time). After digging for another few minutes, I finally found the key and we all loaded up again.
The pictures in this post are the way I present the night, because those are the awesome moments that I want to remember and share. I didn't have time to take a picture of my kid pooping for an hour or throwing up on the floor, and I for sure didn't think to take a picture of our food sitting on the bathroom counter. I get a lot of comments that I "have it all together" or I'm "so creative" and "Such a good Mom". And maybe sometimes I am, but the rest of the story is that I'm just a normal Mom who has every day disastrous moments that I don't always capture and share. Maybe I'll start a series "the rest of the story" so you all know about the crazy moments around here. I'm real, I'm human, and I make a million mistakes a day, but I choose to try and see the good in every situation, and that is what I usually end up sharing with the world.
